BigSis
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Registered: 8-26-2010
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| posted on 8-26-2010 at 03:28 PM |
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Need help &/or advice
Hello - I am new to the site and didnt know where else to turn.
I am the oldest sibling of 4, and one of my 2 brothers confided in me the other day. He is upset with my mother in regards to something that happened
to him when he was a child. I have explained to him that she was NOT the one who hurt him and if she never knew..how can he hold her responsible?!
So part of my issue is to help my mother - he has not said anything to her and not sure how he plans to...I know my mother will need some good advise
and direction.....I guess what Im saying/asking is.... should I give my mom a heads up and give her that opportunity to talk with her pastor. He can
help direct her with the situation. I know my brother...if mymom doesnt give her the 'right' response -you know-- what he wants---- he can be very
mean and bitter. Anyway I dont know what to do!
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88do
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Registered: 7-24-2010
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| posted on 8-26-2010 at 07:08 PM |
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I think u need to talk it out some more with your brother. Pray for him and that the family situation will turn out the way it should be. I will be
praying too
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JOI
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| posted on 8-27-2010 at 03:24 PM |
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If the problem is sexual abuse, and she is unaware of it, you are correct in saying your brother will be bitter.
This issue needs to be discussed between your mom and your brother, in order for his healing to begin. Once it
is out in the open things may get worse for a while, before they get better.
Perhaps you can tell your brother not to accuse your mom, because this will make the situation more difficult
and your mom may not be receptive, if this is the case. He should tell her he feels she let him down and that
he feels hurt, lost and betrayed. It is in our nature to expect our parents to protect us from the evils of this world,
and it is natural that he feels she is responsible, but this does not mean he should accuse her of something she is
not aware of. He should have gone to her when the matter took place, and he may be healed of it by now, but this
can not be changed at this point.
Is your brother a Christian? If so, he can tell God all about his hurts. To harbor bitterness will destroy your brother.
Bitterness hurst us more that the one we are bitter toward, and it ruins us. I know this is fact, because I used to
harbor some bitterness, before I turned to God for help.
It may be helpful to speak with your mom in advance, but I am not sure about this. Ask God, but be sure all your
known sins are confessed, so that He will hear your prayer.
Sin/Confession and forgivness
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Psa 41:4 I said, LORD, be merciful unto me: heal my soul; for I have sinned against thee.
Psa 51:4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight:
Psa 66:18 If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:
Psa 103:10 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
Psa 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Psa 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
I am praying for you. Come back and post with us and let us know how things work out. HUGS
Father, you know the difficulty in this family and the love and care this sister has for her brother and her mom.
Give wisdom where it is needed and help BigSis in making her decisions as to how to proceed in this matter.
I pray that where grace can find a way, that you heal this young fellow and the rift between he and his mom and
restore their love for one another, even as You love them, for Christ's sake.
The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders.... because they did not receive the love
of the truth, that they might be saved." 2 Thessalonians 2:9-10
Christ said; "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." John 14:6
Christ did not die to make bad men good; He died to make dead men live.
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